As a pastor, I see too many ruined lives. So, as someone very aware of my own imperfections, may I say this: It doesn’t have to be this way. There is always a way back. But in order to move forward, you may first need to break a promise.
Please don’t be alarmed. I’m not talking about doing anything unethical. I’m talking about breaking those bad promises you made to yourself years ago – promises that have shaped you and sabotaged your life. These promises may have been made so long ago that you’ve forgotten you made them. However, your subconscious has not forgotten. You have trained it over the years, and it now controls your life, causing you to self-sabotage.
Here are some examples of self-sabotaging promises I’ve heard people make:
“I can never make the grade. I will fail, so I won’t try and do anything significant in life.”
Or
“I’m going to distance myself from those who challenge my folly – and then invent a narrative to justify my actions.”
Or
“I’m not going to acknowledge God because God didn’t make something happen that I wanted.”
Or
“I’m not going to measure up to people’s expectations so I’m going to define myself by living against their values in defiance of them.”
Or
“I’m going to associate with people of poor character so I can feel good about myself – relative to them…”
These are examples of the sort of “self-talk” that can become rooted in your subconscious and control your behaviour.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. There is always a way back.
The way back begins with facing reality. Once you feel enough life opportunities have been wasted; once you feel that enough relationships have been ruined, once you have allowed yourself to see the brutal reality of what you have become, then, and only then, will you have the motivation to change.
Change means making different choices, and the first of these choices is to no longer live out the promises you made to yourself earlier in life – promises that have blighted your life.
Two other things are vital. There can be no change without honesty; and there can be no change without humility. Humility is the prerequisite for turning your life around and living life differently. Humility will also allow you to fix the broken relationships you have with others. Crucially, it will enable you to seek, and give, forgiveness.
These principles will be familiar with those acquainted with the Bible, and this is significant. If you have rebelled against those things that are good and godly, you will have lost your moral compass and your relationship with God. This will not only ruin your current life, it will also mean that you have spurned God’s invitation to live with him forever.
Frankly, that is a scenario that horrifies me.
The reality is: you are more sacred than you can possibly conceive… and more loved than you can possibly realise.
There is always a way back.(For more, go to nickhawkes.net and click on “What is Christianity?” (under the “Free Discipleship Resources” banner).
